手取り15万円派遣OLライフ

手取り15万円の派遣OLの夢とか恋とか。

I don’t like it

He is in Japan tonight but he has not sent me text over 10 hours.

Even I’m with my friend or family, it’s always in my mind.


It’s because I have PMS right now my emotions are swinging.


The other night, he told me he trust me. What is trust? Do I trust him?

I constantly worry that he will meet other girl and will leave me.

 

I would not beg him to stay.


I hate myself that I always think about him.

When I’m with him, I am abusolutry happy.

It’s no doubt but when I’m not with him which is most of the time, I am not so happy and constantly questioning myself why am I seeing him.


When I start dating, I knew his status. Trust me that I feel guilty all the time.

It sometimes overwhelming me.


I know it’s my weakness that I can not leave him.

He said he loves me but I know he doesn’t and it hurts.

It hurts when he says the word.


I know my heart is broken and have a lot of scars.


Is this a pain on the way to be happy? What is happiness?


Life has consequences and the choice made your life but when you have only one, there is no choice.